[ Unfinished research ]
Warning : The Plutonic approach. May not be suitable for sensitive readers
The cause of an individual suffering with sexual trauma or fear can have various roots. something you can see in the birthchart.
However in this case it’s MORE important to approach the issue from reality and with a psychological point of view. In many cases it starts in the childhood where small events can cause big issues in adulthood due to the fact that the wounds were never noticed or worked on when they were fresh.
A few examples of what may cause intimacy issues :
• Lack of love from mother/father
• Early and/or tragic death of parent(s)
• (Child) abuse
• (Child) rape
• Sexual (Child) trafficking
• Unstable home life/upbringing
A few examples of how broad the impact/result can be :
• Low self-esteem
• Lack of self-love
• Distorted body image (Body dysmorphia)
• Sexual shame
• Intimacy blocks
• Hyper sensitivity
• Eating disorders
• Substantial addictions
• Confused sexual orientation
• Confused sexual expression
• Mood disorders
The list of effects is bigger than the list of the acts that ignited them in the first place. Something to think about, something that may display very clearly how sensitive a child/teenager is to their environmental elements.
We are not fully developed until we are 18. We are not fully psychologically developed until the age of 25. Life shapes us.
What the adults show as an example to children, is what the children will understand as ‘normal’ when they grow up, especially when a situation was long-lasting (throughout the whole childhood. from birth till young adult life)
3 ways how a victim reacts during the assault/abuse :
• Panic & fighting : Anxiety kicks in
• Allowing & Emotional shutdown : No response
• Participate in the act : Mental shutdown, seeing no other option
This last one specifically may cause a lot of confusion and discomfort along the path of recognizing assault and seeing the need for healing. Because one blames themselve for joining in the act. While in reality, they may have been manipulated into believing it was okay, especially in sexual assault or abuse from a known person (family, friend, co-worker,..) .
Stage of denial :
It could take a few weeks to years for one to realize they have been mistreated.
Denial can be seen through how one behaves in the day to day life. Within this stage one experiences a lot of shame whenever something triggers the negative memories. It’s incredibly painful to be faced with memories when one has not recognized the assault and the damage as a result of that.
Their behavior gets out of balance :
• Avoiding intimacy
• Eating less or excessively
• Sleeping problems : Insomnia & hyper-somnia
• Diseases : STD’s,…
• Stress : Skin rash,..
• Exaggerated responsiveness
2 ways of how a situation impacts the approach & action of a victim :
• Becoming overly anxious & sensitive
• Becoming the abuser & unemotional
How Trauma shapes your actions :
As a victim of abuse of any kind at any age,
the healthy way of processing information is disturbed.
Depending on the degree of negative impact the situation had, the closer one’s psyche gets to ending up in a constant state of survivalism. Also known as Survival mechanism. We all have that, but for victims of abuse or a heavy upbringing, this mechanism is triggered, causing the individual’s actions to be unusual.
• A healthy psyche : FEELING – THINKING – ACTING
• A damaged psyche : FEELING – ACTING
The natural process of information regards a situation that triggers a state of survivalism, is damaged. ‘Thinking’ about one’s acts within a triggering environment or situation, is kicked out of the picture because the memory is that one never had the chance to speak up. And may had to physically act (hitting, kicking, screaming, defending) inorder to be heard. In a healthy environment there should always be room to communicate about things both parties do not agree on.
Words of support towards those who still suffer :
• You are not your trauma
• You are not to blame
• You are worthy to fight
• You are worthy to speak up & seek help
• Your wounds are a source of healing & power
• You will get out of this pain
• There is no shame in admitting your struggles
The reason why you may struggle to accept your current situation, sexual issues,..
Is because you unconsciously blame yourself for the things that happened to you that were BEYOND your control.
The small you, the inner child, is wounded. And because the little you still doesn’t understand what had happened to you, it remains a part of you that is uncomfortable with intimacy and own sexuality.
Due to the negative experience , you are conditioned to think it will cause harm anyway.
Getting over it :
• RECOGNIZE, allow what hurts
• ACCEPT, you can’t change what happened
• FORGIVE, let go of negativity
• SHAPE the experience into a source of learning
• HEALING is within
• PATIENCE, give yourself time
DO NOT Victimize yourself by putting yourself into the comfort-zone of blaming what happened to you. When you keep hiding behind your wounds (‘i am worthless’ ‘but, this and that happened to me’ ‘please love me’), you are not allowing strength to get in.
Recognize that it’s a completely natural psychological reaction to be ashamed, afraid, uncomfortable, there is nothing wrong with you.
You have been damaged, you need healing.
When you accept that as your truth you make room to allow positive change.
You are a badass motherfucker (sorry if my vocabulary offends you) for reading this, because this shows you survived through the darker parts. You are still here, and the reason for that is because you can heal.
No dipshit has the right to tear down your happiness and joy in life, no matter what the situation is. Take back your own personality, own your personality, wear your scars with pride, they may have shaped you, but they do not possess you.
When one is brave enough to look their fears and shame into the eyes, that’s when you open the gates of symbolic death and rebirth.
Constructive Self-Destruction :
Certain negative experiences make you self-conscious resulting in self-hate, low self-esteem and destructive tendencies. But who ever said that you should destroy yourself?
The ‘voices in your head’ that were brutally implanted in your way of thinking by others.
But that’s just a negative remain of retarded people outside of yourself. What they think is not what you have to think about yourself.
In life you have the Freedom to chose what you do with shattered pieces.
• You can sit down and cry, but this won’t bring any happiness or growth.
However i do support you crying when things hurt, you SHOULD let your tears flow, whether you are a man or a woman, tears are human, there is no shame in emotions.
• Another option is that you use these pieces to build something new. Yourself.
With the shattered pieces you are able to build a unique mosaic. In other words, what ever has been destroyed still has the potential to shine and become something beautiful that will inspire others.
A.k.a : Find what sparks joy and happiness. See how you creatively & constructively can channel the negativity within you into contributing towards healing.
A list of constructive ways to deal with negative tendencies :
• Visual art (Graphic design)
• Sports (Swimming, athletics, Fitness, Kickbox,…)
Pay attention to details :
Whenever a situation occurs in which you find yourself to have act out of defense or survival mechanism, sit down and think about how this was able to happen.
Find your triggers. This takes time. It’s okay to relapse in the wrong behavior, however do not pat yourself on the back by constantly saying ‘oh it’s okay, it’s because of that one thing’. You should adopt the mindset of : ‘Shit man i failed, i want to do good next time’ .
Write down the situations in which you felt unsafe, uncomfortable or afraid, this way you allow yourself to be able to recognize your trigger more easily and on time.
This allows the ability to bend the survival mechanism into awareness so that you can choose your actions yourself, instead of your actions being navigated by your feelings.
Strong on your own VS Strong in a team :
Don’t be ashamed or angry at yourself if you fail to deal and recover from your damages.
Don’t wait to long to seek help when your wounds are rooted deeply to the point it dominates your entire being and functioning in life. RED FLAG,
seek professional help.
Seek someone to walk with you through your darkness. Open up. To someone you feel comfortable with.
Either a friend, family member, coworker, neighbor or indeed a psychologist.
Your future mantra :
‘Survival through the darkest gives birth to passionate strength”
In fact, i made this quote and got it tattooed on myself, to remind me of the brutally epic shit i went through, to remind myself i am a fucking badass individual for surviving, for learning and growing. And so should you.
Getting to the Astrological indicators
Childhood Abuse :
I have previously written about it. Read more
Sexual Abuse :
Sex & Trauma are themes that fall under the same house in Astrology :
Therefore an emphasis regards this house is most often indicated in the birthchart.
Aggressive planets/points located in the 8th house, such as :
Suffering sexual shame :
• Saturn in 8th
• Saturn in hard aspect to 8th ruler
• 8th house in Virgo or Capricorn
• Moon in Cancer, Virgo or Capricorn
• 8th ruler in 6th or 12th
• 8th ruler harshly aspected
• Aspect between 8th and 6th
• Chiron in 8th or conjunct 8th ruler
• Chiron in 1st or conjunct 1st ruler
Outer planet interaction :
• Saturn square Mars, Venus, Sun, Moon
• Saturn in 4th or 8th house
• Pluto in the 4th, 12th house or conjunct an angle
• Pluto Inconjunct, semi-sextile Moon (ancestral)
• Pluto square, opposite Mars
• Pluto conjunct, opposite, square Sun
• Neptune conjunct, opposite, square, inconjunct Mars, Sun
• Neptune conjunct, opposite, square Moon