”Every relationship should be an honest reflection of yourself”
If you’re in a relationship but you’ve grown to the point that you feel distance, disagreement, repression, etc..
Than it’s time to think about what your next step should be.
Making a decision isn’t easy, knowing what you really want, is sometimes hard to recognize when you are entirely absorbed into a relationship to the point you’ve lost yourself. When there are communication issues, than it’s hard to understand what each individual is struggling with.
Astrology is a helpful tool to understand, however you should act out of reality, and not out of ‘yeh but our moons are opposite and my mercury is square to his moon’ . Sure those aspects are quite challenging, emotionally. That’s why i am writing this article. To help others who are facing an important decision of whether to breakup or to makeup.
I suggest you to read my 11 laws of love before diving deeper.
You should have good understanding of what healthy love is like.
1) Important questions to ask yourself :
1. What’s the glue between you?
2. Do you feel understood?
3. Are you sexually fulfilled?
4. Can you communicate everything?
5. Do you feel comfortable & safe?
6. Does your partner truly know who you are & likewise?
7. Do you feel supported?
8. Do you feel respected?
9. Is it platonic or love?
10. Is there emotional understanding?
11. Are you happy?
12. Are you sad, why?
13. Can you share vulnerability?
14. Do you receive the right kind of support when you feel low?
15. Are you both putting in the effort when needed?
16. Is your partner the only one on your mind & heart?
17. Do you feel a deep & intimate connection?
18. Do you reflect your partner’s feelings onto yourself?
19. Is there equal give & take?
20. Can the struggles be overcome?
21. Is this relationship built upon a healthy foundation?
Take your time to answer these. If you can answer these rather quickly and most of them turn out to be negative, than you are one step closer to understanding why you may need to make a decision of parting ways. However for some it takes a lot of time to fully tune in to their real needs and desires. Sometimes we may repress what we actually feel deep down because of a fear to face our personal truth.
2) Signs of being in love :
List down your own behavior, thoughts, feelings,… when you are truly in love. Sure the butterflies may calm down after a while, which is normal. However i believe it’s important to analyze yourself and really know what you feel when you are in love. I will list down mine, to give you an honest example. Be brutally honest. UNFILTERED
• Writing poems, sweet texts & notes of love (depends on your love language)
• Random and genuine arousal
• Feeling free
• Crafting, giving presents
• Desire eternal commitment & devotion
• Being happy all the time
• Genital worship (depends on who you are tho, maybe this is not your thing)
• Full blown transparency
• Being and feeling proud
… Now list your signs down. See what stands out and does it show in your current relationship? Double check yourself, when you are doing any of these signs, if they really come out of love OR out of a need to replace something! Sometimes we have the tendency to copy & paste certain behavior from the past as we want to remind ourselves of something, we may fool ourselves into the idea that we are in love, while sometimes it’s just an ache of pain where we try force something to become real what is not truly there..
3) What does your astrology show :
1. Check your transits to have a better understanding of why you feel so unsatisfied in your current relationship.
• Shortterm transits : transiting planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars). Hard aspects from these planets to any of your personal planets (especially Moon, Venus, Mars, Mercury) only take up to a few weeks and have a few days of being very intense when the aspect is exact.
• Longterm transits : transiting planets (Uranus, Neptune, Saturn, Pluto). Hard aspects from these planets to any of your personal planets (Moon, Sun, Venus, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter) can be VERY challenging to overcome and drag yourself through.
• T Saturn square Venus : Creates a time of emotional and sensual distance in your relationship, such as not feeling one another. The need to be content with less for a while. This can result in a breakup, especially if the foundation of the relationship isn’t that strong, such as good communication and emotional understanding. That’s the essence of Saturn’s influence : what is this relationship build upon? A testing of the structures and realistic potentials. If your relationship survives this influence, than it only strengthens the relationship, adding more glue and commitment, if a breakup does occur under this transit, than better things will come in the future, just not directly, since Saturn is about restrictions and patience. This transit causes a time of lowered self-esteem, a difficulty to receive love. So if you see this transit happening and you are going through a rough time in your relationship, this is where you can find the answer and understanding why you feel this way.
• T Pluto square Venus : This is either to make or to break it type of energy. Pluto build up slowly and subtly. Desires run high or it is fear and (secret) obsessions that are overpowering during this transit. It can signify a 3rd party influencing the relationship, but not always. It triggers the insatiable longing to merge, to find absolute symbiosis with a partner, or one may become melancholic and dwells into the past. This transit can bring a painful and soul shattering break up. Or, a profound transformation and turning point. Often money, values, sex and desires are an area of major concern. It’s a period of time with an urgency towards letting go of the old, growth and evolution, which often result in symbolic death and rebirth. If your relationship survives this transit than intimacy increases between the both of you, and you may indeed find that sweet soulful spot what you’ve been longing for. It makes room for a new chapter or level to arrive in your relationship, whether it’s together or not.
• T Uranus square Venus : Creates a period when sexual needs may change between the both of you. One or both is no longer satisfied within the relationship. There is friction and restlessness, and commitment is a choking or uneasy idea. This signifies the individual longing for more freedom and new adventures, which the current relationship may not serve or live up to, an urgent desire for excitement and to feel alive (again). Cheating could be a result of this transit, either you or the partner, for this transit may bring sudden and unexpected encounters or situations with others. But it doesn’t necessary always have to be cheating. It could just show a time when both of you realize that the relationship doesn’t live up or serve any satisfaction in the area of sex, love and sensuality. This can be a temporary breakup for Uranus is unexpected and fast.
• T Neptune square Venus : This transit could result in cheating most likely. Neptune is illusions, secrets and could bring secret affaires, however these affaires will most likely lead nowhere since it’s a one-direction affaire in where one individual feels the need to take it to the next level (most likely you). There is a tendency to lie, and distance is created between you and your partner as you have very unrealistic expectations. You don’t understand what is going on and you may not have any bas intentions at all, you’re simply confused but this leads to difficult situations as your boundaries are also weakened. Neptune is the opposite of reality and doesn’t leave much room for putting things into perspective. It makes up his own reality which in the end is just an illusion.
4) What’s in your Synastry and Composite :
Sometimes the issues you are feeling in your relationship, are clearly shown in the Synastry and/or Composite chart.
A few examples in Synastry :
• Moon square/opposite Moon
• Moon square/opposite Venus
• Moon square/opposite Mars
• Mercury square/opposite Mercury
• Mercury square/opposite Venus
• Mercury square/opposite Jupiter
• Mars square/opposite Mars
• Mars square/opposite Pluto
• Mars square/opposite ASC or ASC ruler
A few examples in Composite :
• 5th ruler square/opposite 8th ruler
• Saturn square/opposite Sun
• Saturn square/opposite/conjunct Moon
• Saturn square/opposite/conjunct Venus
• Saturn square/opposite/conjunct Mars
• Mercury square/opposite Mars
• Moon in 6th or 12th house
• Moon square Sun
• Sun square/opposite Jupiter
• 12th house stellium
• Hard aspects to the ASC by Saturn/Uranus/Neptune/Pluto/Mars
There are many factors which can show why something isn’t working out with your sweetheart, sometimes we want it to end, but other time we may not want such, because there is still something present where you feel like ‘Aahhh.. this person really has qualities that i admire and need, the affection is sweet but the communication sucks’ .
Yes.. Think again. The most important factors in a relationship in order for it to work :
2) Love & self-love
6) Emotional compatibility & understanding
8) Honesty & transparency
9) Balanced compromising
10) Common goals
12) Sexual attraction
Most of these SHOULD be present. Sure, i know some couples can live in a platonic relationship, it depends on both of your needs.
Hope this article helps. Feel free to contact me.
What i have learned (as a Northnode in sagittarius in the 8th house LOL)
If your pussy blooms open like a flower, it’s a chakral YES.
If you leak instantly just by eye contact, getting turned on by the idea to merge with the other because their soul lives in that body, it’s a chakral YES.
I don’t know but something about your genitals holds truth, not the erotic aspect but the soul aspect.
Make sure the relationship/connection is healthy before judging off of your genital’s electric impulses of divine love.